4/20? You mean 1/5 reduce your fractions did you even learn math
i secretly like getting assigned seats in school because it takes away that awkward “i have no friends in this class where the fuck am i gonna sit” factor
the first person to poop must have been like ???????????????
As an infant they probably didn’t register what was happening
i was imagining a grown ass man. a man with a beard. a man hunting alaskan mammoths to provide for his family. i forgot babies. i forgot babies existed
how come no one ever talks about how hans was about to slice elsa’s fucking head off
its like every character in the movie was g-rated disney, except for hans, hans literally came straight out of game of thrones
no one wants to fertilize my eggs we can stop with the monthly foolishness
I just want to be slightly drunk, half naked, and completely on top of someone.
a true hero
(Source: rumour, via virginsacrificer)
escalators are better than elevators because when escalators break they turn into stairs but when elevators break they turn into vertical coffins
have you ever been so mad you went to bed
(Source: omgtsn, via virginsacrificer)